Welcome to Writing Me: Part III A community writing project intended to inspire our creativity collectively and individually.
For the next few weeks we’re going to be writing through the I am Poem. We start this week with Melissa.
I am a mom, a wife, a writer, dreamer, a believer, ME.
I wonder everyday if I’m doing this life right. I wonder what tomorrow brings and who my children will grow to be. I wonder about them and I wonder about me.
I hear the silent rhythm of a house asleep. A stolen moment all for me. I wrap it around myself and hug it tight because it won’t last. It never lasts.
I see my words. They tip tap type across the page frantically sometimes trying to escapes the confines of my mind and find a life on paper before they get lost in the crevices of the mind.
I want to give the words a life, a home. I want to send them forth into the world and watch them evolve and change. Like my children are evolving and changing around me almost by the minute.
I am a mom, a wife, a writer, dreamer, a believer, ME
I pretend to have it all together. To do it all and with out steering the ship off course. I’m good at pretend.
I feel anxious and wobbly. It’s hard to keep the boat afloat when you shove all the things you don’t wnat others to notice down below the deck.
I touch everything. All day, touch, pick, do, move.
I worry that I am not doing this life right. That I am ruining my children or missing moments. I worry about the big and unimaginable and I worry about the worry.
I cry for lost days, lost lives, lost loves.
I am a mom, a wife, a writer, dreamer, a believer, ME
I understand that I am more than these words typed on a page as first thoughts come to mind.
I say I am a writer, a dreamer, but is that all part of the pretend?
I dream that I can make those words true, that I can step up to the top deck of the ship and steer the vessel without feeling wobbly.
I try to right the path everyday, with His guidance and love
I hope I am doing this life right because
I am a mom, a wife, a writer, dreamer, a believer, ME.
I am all these things, and more.
——
Melissa is mom to 3 kids (9mo-6yrs) and 1 angel. She used to dream of traveling the world, now she dreams of a clean kitchen. She writes about all the sticky bits of motherhood at Peanut Butter in my Hair, and hides from her children on Twitter (@PBinmyHair).
Beautiful.
I think we all pretend, to some degree, but I don’t think it makes us any less writers or dreamers or whatever else we are yearning to be. I think we have to pretend the first few times before it starts to sink in — to feel natural — that this IS me.
And YOU, Melissa, are lovely
So many great thoughts in your poem, Melissa! You are capturing what so many of us think and feel. It is hard to follow in your footsteps!
Wow, thanks Ginny!
Again, I have to say I just love your very raw and very real honesty. I especially loved these lines “I pretend to have it all together.” and “I worry about the worry.” Both really resonated with me.
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